A Fistful of Canadian Tire Dollars

"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
06/02/2016 at 11:40 • Filed to: ice racists, studdable ipikes, ten dollar tires i mean like, canadian tire

The last stack of $9.93 thirteen inch tires sat between us, a deal so great that it bent the limits of imagination. I thought of the message I had sent to my once-friend about it, before leaping in the car. What I never considered was that he would be in the area, which was bad enough, and might even have a little more horsepower than me, which was worse. An attendant, sensing what was coming next, dove behind the parts counter, pretending to be occupied with hooking up a hollow plastic demo battery to the tester.

They say Canadians are polite. I don’t think ‘they’ ever met two ice racers fighting over $39.72 (plus taxes and environmental fees) in small-diameter studdable tires before. Once, the man standing across from me had tolerated my repeated links to Kijiji beaters, had enjoined me in joking commentary about how rust-prone and terrible the hoopties were. But I should have sensed something in him even then. Not envy, per se, but perhaps a sort of rivalry.

I couldn’t take my eyes off him if I tried. Sweat beaded on my brow as the fluorescent lights of the parts department beat down upon both of us. There was a scrabbling in the background as parents drew their children into the waiting room, kept the door pulled shut as they anticipated what would come next. He went for it.

I went for it.

The store manager came running to the scene, the non-OSHA-compliant soles of his wingtip shoes skidding on the gleaming tile as he tried to intervene. “Stop! Stop!” he cried, straining to be heard over the sound of impact wrenches pulling from their holster and revving to the moon.

Somehow, implausibly, we stopped. Did neither of us truly want to hurt the other for our goals? Could we learn to get along, to share our resources? I began to feel hope swelling in my breast. Maybe only having two cheap tires wouldn’t be that bad after all. I’d still save some money.

“You guys know we have like a hundred sets of these in the back room, right?”

We looked at each other then. Should we tell the others? Such a bounty would propel the ice racists to a new level of competition, burning through ten-dollar Korean snows and the local population of small-braked Japanese subcompacts alike. I decided to turn to the Bible for inspiration, as men do for such an occasion.

Such is the dark tale of how I ended up with fifty and a half sets of snow tires. King Solomon would be proud.

DISCUSSION (45)

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 11:45

Kinja'd!!!

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 11:50

The next question is do you have enough junk cars for all those tires?

Seat Safety Switch > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
06/02/2016 at 11:51

If there’s anyone in the world that could use up 50.5 sets of 13 inch snow tires over the course of his lifetime it’s probably me.

(in reality I only bought three sets)

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 11:58

Just have a fleet of Minis, Mirages, and Micras.

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:00

One set for the car, the other 49 and a half to make a fort!

Seat Safety Switch > V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me!
06/02/2016 at 12:01

Cheaper than building a garage out of wood!

Seat Safety Switch > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
06/02/2016 at 12:01

I wonder how fast a Minica Dangan ZZ burns through studded tires?

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:03

Excuse me. A what?

Seat Safety Switch > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
06/02/2016 at 12:04

A Dangan ZZ. I drove one during my brief time as an importer/exporter in Japan.

boredalways > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:05

Kinja'd!!!

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:08

DAMN! that’s a great deal. I could of used a set when I had my Mazda 323.

Kinja'd!!!

http://oppositelock.kinja.com/project-free-m…

Seat Safety Switch > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
06/02/2016 at 12:09

Uuuughhhh I have been looking for a bubble butt 323 for so long.

Even the rotten ones are gone from here nowadays.

What no-front-plate province are you from?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:09

You joke, but enough supplies to build the kind of hut for 2 grand that you can build with fifty sets of tires - it actually isn’t too far.

Seat Safety Switch > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
06/02/2016 at 12:10

Plus, let’s see those chumps at the insurance company try to upsell me on hail insurance this time!

There is the small problem of the smell to deal with.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:12

Alberta. This thing what 100% Rust free! It came from Victoria BC.

I sold it for $1600 bucks but now looking back maybe I should of kept it.

Seat Safety Switch > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
06/02/2016 at 12:13

I am double envious. Victoria is like the only place those things are still intact.

I, too, come from the mudflap-shaped province that has weird smells in the spring. We should hang out or something.

Justin Hughes > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
06/02/2016 at 12:14

Those Miata daisies look great on the 323! Like they were made for it!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:15

After the first five minutes your noise burns out on the rubber smell, and you continue to get high on the new tire VOCs for the whole day. Win-win.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:16

I probably should have googled it.

Seat Safety Switch > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
06/02/2016 at 12:16

VOCs are good for you. The Surgeon General can suck it.

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:16

Whoa. That's less than $8USD. MY lunch cost more than a tire.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:19

What part? I’m just north of Edmonton in Fort Saskatchewan

Seat Safety Switch > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
06/02/2016 at 12:22

Cowtown. Fort Sask is nice though, I haven’t been up there for awhile. The tire deal was spotted in Leduc.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:26

So you did the 2 and a half hour drive to Leduc just so you could buy cheap tires?

Seat Safety Switch > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
06/02/2016 at 12:26

I roped in another ice racist to take care of it for me.

BJ > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:29

So Canadian! I love it.

Kinja'd!!!

Wacko > boredalways
06/02/2016 at 12:31

not sure if many will get that reference.

And the ones who do, like me are showing their age....

Seat Safety Switch > BJ
06/02/2016 at 12:31

Once I apologized to a guy for holding a door open for him for too long. Then he apologized for not running across the iced-over parking lot to make it less awkward for me.

As the door was closing, a third person arrived and apologized for not being more obvious such that we could hold the door for them too.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 12:39

Gotcha!

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > Seat Safety Switch
06/02/2016 at 14:18

Gotta love that Koshiro...

sklooner > Seat Safety Switch
06/21/2016 at 13:26

I will get some for my utility trailer collection

functionoverfashion > Seat Safety Switch
06/25/2020 at 12:51

This just came out of nowhere? Man, I still read https://seatsafetyswitch.com/ from time to time and I’m never disappointed.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Seat Safety Switch
06/25/2020 at 12:52

What happened to the .5 set?

Mid Engine > Seat Safety Switch
06/25/2020 at 12:56

Every so often I lament on the downfall of Canadian Tire, it was a great store back in the day. Actually, it wasn’t. They’ve always sold shit that would embarrass even the most hardened Harbor Freight loyalist.

bob and john > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
06/25/2020 at 12:59

burn outs

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > bob and john
06/25/2020 at 13:01

I also wonder how this post could still have the time stamp of 2016 and yet be here chilling in the future.

shop-teacher > Seat Safety Switch
06/25/2020 at 13:13

Oh man, those would have been great on the RallyMetro!

vondon302 > Seat Safety Switch
06/25/2020 at 13:21

Damn, until I looked at the date I thought seat safety switch was back on Oppo.

Heavy sigh

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > Seat Safety Switch
06/25/2020 at 13:26

Date stamped 2012!

bob and john > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available
06/25/2020 at 13:35

#kinja

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
06/25/2020 at 14:47

My stoner friend in college had one of those, we used to fling it around icy parking lots. He later became a respiratory therapist, I shit you not.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Seat Safety Switch
06/25/2020 at 14:48

Try CA and AZ, must be some.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Mid Engine
06/25/2020 at 15:02

As a home cook, I like their frequent sales on kitchen stuff. I don't think I've ever actually bought tools from there except for a small hammer.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Seat Safety Switch
06/25/2020 at 15:05

I had the ipike 14s on my Accent. They work, but the blizzaks I had afterwards were so much better.

That’s a crazy deal though, I think it cost around $300 incl. tax and mounting/installation on my old Accent . I also go t them from CT.

stuckMTB > Seat Safety Switch
06/25/2020 at 16:29

this is probably the sooriest thing I’ve ever heard of.